Marriage Isn't for You: It's for the One You Love

15 March 2010

Wanted: A Little Help Around Here...

Paula A. Tomey-Allen 

As I sit here taking a break from all the hustle and bustle of the season the thought comes to my mind that I should hire a full time seasonal worker to come in here and help me out. I am exhausted and it'll be Valentine's Day before I get the house all decorated for Christmas...

I have boxes of this and bags of that strung from one end of the house to the other. Scotch tape is stuck to my hair and ribbon is constantly dangling from my clothes. The washer and dryer are going and it's 11:00 at night. We have just returned home from a long trip which included moving my daughter back home from college, so there is college EVERYWHERE!

Dishes are filling the sink and clean ones are still in the dishwasher that we washed before we left town a month ago. Thank goodness we remembered to leave the dishwasher door open to dry and air out. That would be a fine mess to come home to. Kind of like the mini fridge my daughter had at college; Unplugged, and unused... Get my drift?

So I just finished embroidering the last of a pillowcase daughter is giving to her boyfriend and now I am getting ready to finish off a throw for his dad. Boy, I tell you, if they ever break up I am going over and claim it all! I gave blood for all this work!

So, sigh, the following ad reads:

"Wanted: All purpose person to come in and relieve me of the stress and strain that tends to accompany all major holidays, birthdays, graduations, bill paying events and a variety of other occasions. Must be willing to work at all hours, sometimes watching the sun rise as they sew the last stitch on a dress that will most likely end up on the closet floor next week. Willing to cook at strange hours various types of cuisine from cold cereal to Ramen Noodles. Must get used to loud music that penetrates through one teen's walls which ranges from Hip Hop to some with no class. Need someone who can stand by me as I cry on payday, tissues in hand consoling me with words of "it will all work out..." Willing to stand over a sick child as they pray to the "porcelain god" when they have the flu or perhaps out doing what they shouldn't be doing, holding their hair and saying "it will be alright..."

Well.. I guess I should quit dreaming and get back to the tasks at hand. I'm sure I can't find another just like me, as I am one of a kind. Well, anyway, that's what the junk mail tells me. "You have been selected out of all the other people..."

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