Marriage Isn't for You: It's for the One You Love

15 March 2010

Getting Back in Touch..

Paula A. Tomey-Allen 

Do you ever have those times when you feel like you are off balance and that your life is taking a wrong turn of sorts? Or, perhaps that you are in a strange territory and not feeling quite like yourself?

I have noticed lately that I have been feeling this way. No, I haven’t gone out and robbed a bank or done anything else illegal, so we can stop worrying about that! It’s just that, I have felt, sort of, like the ole’ “lights on, but nobody’s home” syndrome.

So, recently as I was making my proverbial daily “To Do” list, which by the way never seems to get done, I got to thinking about things in general and how I could get out of this slump? I decided, as I turned on the TV to “just see” if something was on that I could listen to as I piddled around home, that TV wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Same thing happens with the computer sometimes too. The dust balls seem to just grow…

Since I had already decided that since I didn’t care for the silence, I turned on the stereo. As I scanned the stations with my remote I came across a Christian radio station that I listen to once in awhile, but had not tuned into for a long time.

They were playing a version of “You Raise Me Up” by a performer I didn’t know, but I love this song as I had heard it often by one of our favorites, Josh Grobin. Recently someone had done a post about this song, which has such amazing words and meaning, and it had been on my mind ever since I read that post and have been thinking about the words a lot.

So, I left the station on and commenced to putter around doing things like loading the dishwasher and wiping down the kitchen which seemed to have taken on a life of its’ own. As I wiped here and there sorting papers and trashing the endless mound of junk mail that accumulates, I found myself listening to two men having a conversation about fathers and there responsibilities to their children. I found it very interesting and since I am a single mom, I put the counsel to myself as the duo role I play as mom and dad. Even though my children at the time had living fathers, they have lived in different towns than we have most of their growing up and now adult years. We are so blessed they have always had the utmost desire to be an integral part of theirs lives, even though we are separated by divorce and miles.

I continued to listen to them counseling us on the things that we should be doing and how doing these things, simple things, such as spending time with your kids and getting to know them and talking to them and setting a good environment for them were all important things. These were words of wisdom I knew very well and had learned many times over in my adult life. I am sure they were around when I was a child myself, but I was locked into the “me” phase of my life and they surely fell on deaf ears.

In the course of their program they played a talk that was given by a prominent Christian speaker several years ago that related to the topic of raising children and so I continued to listen, as I wiped down doorways and continued to rip up the never ending pile of “You are Pre-approved” junk mail.

This gentleman was funny, to say the least. He had me chuckling and hanging on his every word, as he incorporated stories from his own family life, that we as parents could so relate to. Some topics included, the boy who comes to pick up your daughter for her first date. We still feared that one as I had one not yet married and sometimes I found myself biting my tongue, as I watched and listened to the potential suitors of that time.

As I listened, I was once again reminded that I have a very loving Heavenly Father who loves me unconditional. He is always there and he will never leave me; ever. I had been so very fortunate to have had the father that I was blessed with at birth still with me today, to listen when I needed an ear and to tell me that he loves me and that he is so proud of me and my accomplishments in life. He passed at the youthful age of 86 years, and he still had a heart of gold and the compassion of a Saint. I have learned many lessons from his life and his wonderful example.

So, I decided that I needed to step back and re-evaluate my life and what was possibly putting me in the slump I had recently experienced? I realized that my life is as I make it. I am the sole proprietor and decision maker for how or what I do in this life that I was so graciously given 50 plus years ago. The talk shows and the shopping malls will most likely be there tomorrow. If they are removed something else will replace them. But, my family is one of a kind and they won’t be here always. They may leave this existence before I do or I before them. What’s important is that I make the best of the moments that we have while we are here, together.

I firmly believe that “Families ARE Forever” and that I will be with mine into the eternities, but I need to make the most of this earthly time as well.

So, as I look at my “Daily Balance Scale” where I measure importance and mundane, I once again am reminded that, family, my most precious eternal gift, must always comes first and foremost. Without them, I am nothing and I don’t like having nothing, weather it be in my bank account or my life. But, my bank account, I can’t take with me when I leave, whereas, my family I can and I will. Because my family, is the single, most important, eternal gift I have.

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