Marriage Isn't for You: It's for the One You Love

15 March 2010

Object Lesson – Clarity...

Paula A. Tomey-Allen

Awhile back, I had to replace two light bulbs in my kitchen ceiling and in doing so also had to clean the filthy globes that had not seen a bath for quite awhile. It is amazing what can accumulate up there over a period of time!

Well, being the person I am, I like to teach and in doing so I like to use object lessons to make a point. So, as I was washing out the greasy, dusty globes with hot, sudsy, lemony, water I thought about instances in our lives and how sometimes they can relate to this situation.

Sometimes we get so cluttered with everyday happenings and we tend to get stuck in a routine that we often don't take the time to stop and clean off our "glasses" and see what is out there for us that we are not seeing because we have a clouded or obstructed view. When, I put the new bulbs in and turned on the light switch, it was so bright that I only need to use one light now, instead of the two that I had been using for quite a while as I sit here to work on the computer and do my research.

Now, pages are brighter, ancestor's names are showing up better in my family trees. It will be nice when I cook or entertain for dinner. Or, perhaps, bring out the sewing machine to work on a mending project

The same works for us when we take the time to get rid of the gunk in our lives and work with a new view or perspective. It is important to stop often and take a look at our situations and ask how we can improve a process or a communication skill we may have become lax with?

I think to myself, when was the last time I actually mailed a real letter in my own handwriting to someone instead of using the now conventional e-mail? When was the last time I actually went to visit someone in person and shared ideas and stories instead of calling or once again, sending an e-mail?

My step-mother is up in her years and lives far from me. We talk on phone, but it does become frustrating as her hearing and cognitive skills aren’t as sharp as they use to be. She loves to get mail and often will say, "Write me a letter so I can make sure I am understanding you right."

So, the next time you go to jot a note to someone that goes to a Yahoo or Hotmail address, or whatever service you use, why not take the time to find some stationary, an envelope and a stamp and a pen and sit down and write a pen and ink letter that actually says better and more personal, "Hi! I was thinking of you and I wanted to send a special touch." For fun, add a touch of confetti. My grandkids love it, as do most adults.

Life is too short for being so uniform. Sometimes, we have to change what has become tradition, like those mass Christmas letters and take the time to start early, like now, and write an individual note to those we care about when we prepare our Christmas cards.

My mother had the prettiest handwriting and I love it when I run across a letter or card from her in her handwriting. My son sent few cards and letters during his short life, but I savor every one, especially because I can look at his handwriting which brings him just a little bit closer to home. Just a little bit clearer.

Take time, to make time...

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