My Love for the Relief Society

By Lavona Richardson

As we celebrate the birthday of Relief Society today, March 17, 2010, I am thinking about Relief Society and the influence of being a member of this great women’s organization has been in my life.  I first became a member of Relief Society as a student at BYU and now have been a member of that great organization for almost 60 years.

I remember the two years we were in Nauvoo and the opportunity I had to be in the Red Brick Store and reenact the organization of this great organization where it actually happened.  One year we all dressed in our period clothes and reenacted exactly as it happened from the minutes of the meeting.  I felt that I was there in 1842 when the Prophet Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society.  Another year in Nauvoo as we met at the Red Brick Store I was invited to share with my Nauvoo missionary sisters some of my Relief Society experiences through the years. 

I enjoyed serving as a site missionary in the Sarah Granger Kimball home located on the banks of the Mississippi River.  It was here where the idea of a women’s organization to help make clothes for the workers at the Nauvoo Temple first began.  They planned to organize like other women groups of the day but Joseph Smith said it needed to be organized after the same pattern as the priesthood.

Today as I reflect back on the influence the Relief Society has had on my life I think of my mother, Irene Stratton Flake, who served in Relief Society most of her life and always expressed joy at being able to serve.  Her birthday is on March 18^th so at our home we celebrated both the Relief Society’s birthday and my mother’s birthday at the same time.  As a young missionary in Mexico I was privileged to help organize the Relief Society in Aguascalientes and Monterrey.  I remember being the translator for my mission mother and going with her to the new areas opened up in the mission to organize Relief Society in the new branches.  I also helped write an article about Relief Society in our mission paper each month.

When I was a young mother with three small children, my husband Jay graduated from dental school and we moved into a new ward in Tempe where we knew no one.  We were there less than a week when Marlene, our 2- year-old daughter, became seriously ill with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Puerperal.  She required a bone marrow test and lots of extra care.  Sister Mills, my Relief Society visiting teacher learned of our needs and was there to help me with care of our baby and our 3- year- old making it possible for me to spend many hours in the hospital.  She also brought in meals and was so Christ-like in her service.

A few years later Jay was seriously burned.  He required dressing the burns several times each day for several weeks.  Again a sweet Relief Society visiting teacher came to our rescue.  Sister Wiehrdt, a registered nurse, appeared at our door shortly after the incident to help care for the burn.  She came back to our home many more times to dress the burn and care for it.

One time I was assigned as a visiting teacher to a less active sister.  I faithfully went by her home at least once a month but never was allowed in.  Often I would leave a note or a loaf of bread at her door, with no response from her.  After three years of faithfully visiting her each month, one day when I stopped to see her she came to the door and said, “I was praying that you would come.”  Her husband had abused her and she needed to get out of her home.  We were able to get ward members to help her with her special needs.  Shortly after we were able to start giving her the missionary lessons and she started occasionally coming to our church meetings.

While Jay and I  were on our mission in Indonesia I saw Relief Society and its motto “Charity Never Faileth” put into action as I witnesses a sweet Relief Society President of the Bogor Branch, Lily Lee administer to her little group of women and care for their needs.  I was assigned as her shadow leader but instead she taught me about caring for the one.  She planned lessons around the needs of the new members who needed so much and gave comfort and love as she taught and watched over her little flock.  Lily became friends with Hartika as she was investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She was at her baptism and encouraged others to fellowship her in the church, recognizing her special needs in a Muslim nation.  Another member of Relief Society was Esther, who with seven small children never had enough of the material things in life to care for them Lily was always making some special treat to take over to the family for Home Evening and giving them encouragement as they struggled.   I indeed saw love administered in the way I know Christ administed to those He was with.  Lily taught me so much about caring for the one and being an instrument in the hands of God in doing his work in a little branch in a very remote area in Bogor, Indonesia.  One of the things that I enjoyed doing in Indonesia was making “temple cakes” for the 8-year- old members of the branch as they were baptized and birthday cakes for the other members in my little “easy bake oven”.  Most of them had never tasted cake as we have it and no one had ovens.

I memorized the theme of Relief Society and like to repeat it to myself when I am walking or have time to meditate.  It says, “We are beloved spirit daughters of God and our lives have meaning, purpose and direction.  As a worldwide sisterhood we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar.  We are women of faith, virtue, vision and charity who increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ though prayer and scripture study, seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost, dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriage, families and homes, find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood, delight in service and good works, love life and learning, stand for truth and righteousness, sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth and rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny and strive for exaltation.’

I am grateful to be a member of this great Relief Society organization and join with the other members of the church in wishing it a happy birthday.  Relief Society has made me a better person.   Lavona Flake Richardson

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A Child of the Fifties and Sixties...

Paula A. Tomey-Allen

I am reminded of the age I am, and the era I was born in, which was 1950. Ah, the good old days. Things have sure changed since then.

In thinking back amongst the cobwebs I remember things like:

Mountain Dew in a green glass bottle and calling it "Kick-a-poo Joy Juice".

Playing with my black hair "bubble cut" Barbie while my sister played with her blond one.

My sister and I sharing the same bed for years.

Mom being a "stay-at-home" mom and not minding it.

My brothers had newspapers routes to earn money.

All of us kids would collect pop bottles (glass ones) and haul them in our wagon into town from the military base where we lived for the two cents deposit. We would then go to the local Ben Franklin and/or Base Exchange to spend our precious money on things like a quarter pound of Spanish peanuts for a dime.

Sometimes we would even comb the local dumpsters for bottles and find other treasures. (Shh... don't tell mom and dad!)

Having to wear skirts or dresses to school and if it was a certain temperature we could wear pants under them, but had to take them off when we got to school.

Piling us four kids into the back seat of our "Old Gray Dodge" and going to the drive-in with our fresh popcorn in a brown grocery sack. Our younger brother would sit up front with our parents.

Dad and mom got the first pick of the chicken (one chicken) and we got to choose ours by age. I would opt for the back and neck.

Our first TV was a black and white, and if my parents were to be out for the evening, Dad would mark the TV Guide as to what we were watching.

I remember watching Ed Sullivan, Elvis, the Beatles and others who have since passed. Mickey Mouse and Howdy Doody were favorites after school, if our chores were done.

We wore hand-me-down clothes and lived a very humble, military family, lifestyle.

And, funny, we lived to tell about it.

Getting Back in Touch..

Paula A. Tomey-Allen 

Do you ever have those times when you feel like you are off balance and that your life is taking a wrong turn of sorts? Or, perhaps that you are in a strange territory and not feeling quite like yourself?

I have noticed lately that I have been feeling this way. No, I haven’t gone out and robbed a bank or done anything else illegal, so we can stop worrying about that! It’s just that, I have felt, sort of, like the ole’ “lights on, but nobody’s home” syndrome.

So, recently as I was making my proverbial daily “To Do” list, which by the way never seems to get done, I got to thinking about things in general and how I could get out of this slump? I decided, as I turned on the TV to “just see” if something was on that I could listen to as I piddled around home, that TV wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Same thing happens with the computer sometimes too. The dust balls seem to just grow…

Since I had already decided that since I didn’t care for the silence, I turned on the stereo. As I scanned the stations with my remote I came across a Christian radio station that I listen to once in awhile, but had not tuned into for a long time.

They were playing a version of “You Raise Me Up” by a performer I didn’t know, but I love this song as I had heard it often by one of our favorites, Josh Grobin. Recently someone had done a post about this song, which has such amazing words and meaning, and it had been on my mind ever since I read that post and have been thinking about the words a lot.

So, I left the station on and commenced to putter around doing things like loading the dishwasher and wiping down the kitchen which seemed to have taken on a life of its’ own. As I wiped here and there sorting papers and trashing the endless mound of junk mail that accumulates, I found myself listening to two men having a conversation about fathers and there responsibilities to their children. I found it very interesting and since I am a single mom, I put the counsel to myself as the duo role I play as mom and dad. Even though my children at the time had living fathers, they have lived in different towns than we have most of their growing up and now adult years. We are so blessed they have always had the utmost desire to be an integral part of theirs lives, even though we are separated by divorce and miles.

I continued to listen to them counseling us on the things that we should be doing and how doing these things, simple things, such as spending time with your kids and getting to know them and talking to them and setting a good environment for them were all important things. These were words of wisdom I knew very well and had learned many times over in my adult life. I am sure they were around when I was a child myself, but I was locked into the “me” phase of my life and they surely fell on deaf ears.

In the course of their program they played a talk that was given by a prominent Christian speaker several years ago that related to the topic of raising children and so I continued to listen, as I wiped down doorways and continued to rip up the never ending pile of “You are Pre-approved” junk mail.

This gentleman was funny, to say the least. He had me chuckling and hanging on his every word, as he incorporated stories from his own family life, that we as parents could so relate to. Some topics included, the boy who comes to pick up your daughter for her first date. We still feared that one as I had one not yet married and sometimes I found myself biting my tongue, as I watched and listened to the potential suitors of that time.

As I listened, I was once again reminded that I have a very loving Heavenly Father who loves me unconditional. He is always there and he will never leave me; ever. I had been so very fortunate to have had the father that I was blessed with at birth still with me today, to listen when I needed an ear and to tell me that he loves me and that he is so proud of me and my accomplishments in life. He passed at the youthful age of 86 years, and he still had a heart of gold and the compassion of a Saint. I have learned many lessons from his life and his wonderful example.

So, I decided that I needed to step back and re-evaluate my life and what was possibly putting me in the slump I had recently experienced? I realized that my life is as I make it. I am the sole proprietor and decision maker for how or what I do in this life that I was so graciously given 50 plus years ago. The talk shows and the shopping malls will most likely be there tomorrow. If they are removed something else will replace them. But, my family is one of a kind and they won’t be here always. They may leave this existence before I do or I before them. What’s important is that I make the best of the moments that we have while we are here, together.

I firmly believe that “Families ARE Forever” and that I will be with mine into the eternities, but I need to make the most of this earthly time as well.

So, as I look at my “Daily Balance Scale” where I measure importance and mundane, I once again am reminded that, family, my most precious eternal gift, must always comes first and foremost. Without them, I am nothing and I don’t like having nothing, weather it be in my bank account or my life. But, my bank account, I can’t take with me when I leave, whereas, my family I can and I will. Because my family, is the single, most important, eternal gift I have.

One Drop of Oil...

Paula A. Tomey-Allen

One drop of oil,

Upon my head,

With Priesthood blessings,

While tears I shed.

Strength that comes,

From Words from Thee,

Through anothers voice,

I listen and plea.

For a better time,

Or a better plan,

One drop of oil,

To help me stand.

Thou Abounding Love,

Comforting my soul,

While warming my heart,

And filling my bowl.

One drop of Blood,

How it touches my life,

And will help me to,

Live though the strife.

So fill my lamp,

Full to the top,

And I will prepare,

For Your next stop.

One drop of oil,

Upon my head,

A daughter of God,

And now I am fed.

A Journal Entry: Remembering Michael

20 Mar 2002

Yesterday, March 19, which is Michael's birthday, I decided to make a road trip to Burlington to take him his birthday gift – a new flag for his grave. I try to replace it yearly. He would have been 29.

I prefer to remember his birthday, as it was one of the three happiest days of my life. The day he was called Home, was not a happy day for me, but perhaps for him, as he was released from the trial of life as we know it.

The six hour drive included light rain all the way. I kept praying that it would subside so that when I got to the cemetery it would be dry. But, it continued.

So, I replaced his flag and attached a small angel that was left from another who loved him also many moons ago. We don't know who, but it doesn't matter. It is good to see that others have come to say "hello" and "I remember".

As I stood in the drizzle, talking out loud to him, tears of a humble mother fell freely. This was the hardest time I have had while visiting him. Perhaps this year was the hardest, as I am also going through the empty nest syndrome.

Not knowing what I am suppose to do next, has really set my mind into a state of confusion.

Well meaning friends and family give me advice, but the end decision has to come from me, through the answer I receive from my Father in Heaven. I find if I make decisions from his counsel, then life seems to flow a lot easier, without as many stumbling blocks.

He has always promised it won't necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it. He has never let me down, so I proceed on knowing that He has a plan for me. One that I can and will live with.

Right now, the plan is not clear, but it will come, with time, patience and prayer.

On my way home, I made a quick stop to say hi to Ceci in her cute, new shop and then on through Nauvoo to catch a glimpse of the temple. All I can say is, "wow!" It is gorgeous and so white. White as purity; as He ask us to live our lives.

Nauvoo is full of hustle and bustle and I thought of the times past when the temple was being built and how it must have looked all a flurry. Exciting times in which we are blessed to live. Should I or would I move back there? If He says I should, then I would.

Then it was on the Keokuk to say hi to Mom and leave her a new flag. Cemeteries have a neat spirit of serenity and are so clean and peaceful. The birds are singing as spring is in the air.

The three hundred mile/six hour drive home gives me more time to ponder the day and life in general. No decisions are made, but I know they will come.